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Settle back in India for good? Ummm let me think!
So I recently visited India for vacation. While I was there,
the most common question asked by friends and relatives was: "Why don’t you come
back to India? Enough of staying abroad". I had to make an ‘I don’t know’ face in front of them because I
know that question is not answerable in a simple Yes or No. So
let me try to answer that question in the shortest form possible!
Let me start from the beginning. I came to this country in
year 2006 as a student. I had a burden of education loan on my back when I
landed here. Not that my parents weren’t able to afford my college fees but after
working for a year in the IT industry, it felt shameful to ask to parents for
money. That education loan kept building up with each semester as I ordered
checks from my bank to pay towards my college fees. At the end of my
educational cycle, I had quite a heap of debt sitting on the back of my
neck. The bank allows you a grace period of one year before you can start
re-paying the loan so I had immense pressure on myself to find a job.
I passed out in 2008 and started looking for a job. Autumn of
2008 was insane where the big financial crisis of 2007-08 had taken place and jobs were
being slashed. Many of my college mates had to return to India because they
weren’t able to find a job here in the US. I was lucky to have survived and
found a job for myself. There
was a lot of mental stress during those days where finding a job was extremely difficult. Well, that is my first reason why I don't want to come back to India right now.
I had a very hard time finding a job here and I don't want to quit now. I have seen my classmates head back to India with no jobs under their belt. I have found a good one with extreme efforts and I don’t want to look back.
Anyways, my job started and things got a little better (There
is light at the end of every tunnel). Soon I started to re-pay my education
loan which was of course in dollars. So I had to earn in dollars if I had to
survive with paying that hefty amount each month to the bank. That was my
second reason to stay here. I had to earn in dollars because I was paying in
dollars to my bank. Banks in India charge a good 11-13% interest rate on
education loans so it took me 5 years to get that loan off my back. So 5 years
gone and I didn’t come back to India (You already know a few reasons why I didn't!)
Well, in the meantime several major events happened in my
life. I got married. I had saved very less money because I was paying my loan
for the past 5 years so now saving money and family responsibility was a top
priority. Also, in the meantime my company was ready to sponsor my green card.
That was a good news! I knew so many people who had to return to India because
their employer didn’t file for their green card. I was lucky that I was getting
an opportunity to become a permanent resident of this country. My honest work had paid off in a good way. How
could I let it go? I couldn’t. Now there comes my third reason for not
returning back to India. My green card was being filed and I had to get it!
Approval of green card takes anywhere between 5 to 10 years so now I am at a
phase where I am waiting for it to get approved and just can't leave everything and come back.
Also, once my green card processing was approved, I got a
home for myself. It made no sense to keep paying rent to someone else every
month. Buying a home was a good investment and I had to take that decision.
There comes my fourth strong reason to stay here. I have a commitment towards a
mortgage now and I have to stay here longer to make my investment well worth.
To sum up, there is a very vicious cycle of events that makes
one stay away from their country. It is like a big maze. You keep walking into
it only to realize that the point of entrance is now out of sight. I am sure many Indians who live outside of India
have similar stories. And I also
believe this post would clear doubts of many people in India who wonder why
their friend or relative isn’t ready to come back to India.
I could
have covered so many other points but I wanted to keep this as short as
possible! Thanks for taking your time and reading through this patiently.
4 comments:
Dear Prethviraj, what is said is true fact! But U think it was almost same like we parents and people of my age group left our villages for education and ultimately got jobs in Pune Mumbai and in the vicious circle of earning we were required permanently to be away from our places. From where our letters used to reach our parents after 8-10 days and by road 12 hours to reach to meet parents. Those who got jobs in Delhi Kolkata Chennai were away by 30-50 hours journey! So for them it was like staying in another country. This is the case with almost every person who left villages for education or job. Only the difference is that we were in India! It is life! We have to accept it as it is! Else we would have stayed in our villages or hometowns like our ancestors and lived happily. Those who want live differently for comforts or out of need have to face this. This is the life!...... Arvind Naik Kaka
While these are all real constraints, I think they could all be seen as excuses :-) . In the end, it boils down to where you are happier socially and professionally, which place you think is better for raising kids, and which place you feel more connected to. One big reason young Indian couples live here is that the wives at least are at a safe distance from their in-laws and really cherish that independence :-). The down side is that you lose the fabulous support system back home especially when the kids are young, but to some extent you compensate for that by having your parents visit often. Professionally it has been much better here in the past 50 years (much less politics and corruption, much more opportunity to be successful on your own merits) but that is changing now with a lot of exciting opportunities in a fast-growing economy back home. For people like us, having been in N. America for more than 30 years, we don't have that connection to India any more, we feel more connected to the life and politics here. Of course, things could deteriorate so much here (particularly with guns and Trump) that it will become inadvisable to continue living here :-( !
Arvind Kaka: So well said!! I agree totally with what you wrote in your comment!
Ani: I totally agree, After all you compare both lifestyles and pick one. Each one has its own advantages and disadvantages. But at the end it all boils down to individual choices and priorities.
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